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Dillon Wilson

Dillon Wilson is a Pisces, enjoys long romantic strolls along the beach and is the host of the upcoming show ‘Politics Uncensored’. An accomplished comedian and actor, Dillon also enjoys waterboarding in his spare time.... read more

Report: 95% Of Guys Just Want Her To Shut Up Right Now

Dillon Wilson on 11/14/2013

woman-nagging-husbandWASHINGTON—According to a report published Tuesday afternoon by the Pew Research Center, 95 percent of guys currently want nothing more than for their girlfriends and wives to just shut up and let them watch the game.

“Our findings indicate that the only thought occupying their minds is tuning out whatever the hell she’s talking about as soon as possible and watching the game while scratching their balls and drinking a beer,” said senior researcher Mona Lott, noting that 40 percent of respondents said they wish they had noise cancelling headphones, 35 percent said if she doesn’t finish “sharing” soon they are literally going to bang their head against the TV until halftime, and 25 percent reportedly just cursed out loud, rubbed their hands over their face, and muttered, “I don’t know what the fuck she’s even talking about.”

The report went on to confirm that once the women actually did stop talking, the guys would then completely ignore them unless they needed another beer or more snacks.

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