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Dillon Wilson

Dillon Wilson is a Pisces, enjoys long romantic strolls along the beach and is the host of the upcoming show ‘Politics Uncensored’. An accomplished comedian and actor, Dillon also enjoys waterboarding in his spare time.... read more

Obsessive Compulsive Serial Killer Has To Shoot All Victims Exactly 27 Times

Dillon Wilson on 09/12/2013

crazy_serial_killer_redneck_gunMICHIGAN – Obsessive-compulsive serial killer Billy Joe Thomas confessed today that he is unable to shake himself of the repetitive ritual of shooting his victims exactly 27 times in the back. Calling the disorder ‘a real strain on his trigger finger’, Thomas says more often than not, he only means to shoot them once in the back of the head before falling into his all too familiar routine.

“I know it’s completely irrational but I can’t help it. When I first shoot someone, they scream or whatever, and then I have to give them their 27 shots. It’s really frustrating,” said the bloodthirsty killer, dubbed by the media as ‘The Back Blaster’. “That’s why I prefer the extended 30 round magazine. It’s perfect for me. No time lost reloading. One clip makes me a much more efficient killer. If I had only a 10 round clip, I’d have to reload 3 times. What a pain in the ass that would be! No one is gonna’ hold still while I reload 3 times and shoot them in the back.”

Thomas’s psychologist, Dr. Mona Lott, is confident that with a combination of psychotherapy, medication and effective gun control legislation, her patient could learn to reduce his debilitating ritual to a single shot to the back of the head in all of his future killings.

 

 

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