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Couple Busted Having Sex At Home Depot

Dillon Wilson on 10/30/2014 Mambi Udobola

POINTS OF VIEW – Emily Craig, 20, and Shaun Bowden, 31, were sentenced last Thursday for having sex inside a display shed at a Home Depot store in North Charleston, S.C.. The couple was caught in the screw department at about 8:38 a.m., when someone called the police after seeing the two go into the [...]

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Woman Sues United Airlines Over ‘Mile-High Masturbation Club’

Dillon Wilson on 09/03/2014 Joan Burton, newly elected spokesperson on finance, speaking at the Labour Party hustings in the Imperial Hotel.Picture: Richard Mills.

POINTS OF VIEW – A California woman is suing United Airlines after she said the company did nothing to prevent another passenger from beating his meat at thirty thousand feet. After observing the man masturbating beneath his blanket, Monica Amestoy told a flight attendant; who confronted the man about his behavior. The man immediately stopped; [...]

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Report: 95% Of Guys Just Want Her To Shut Up Right Now

Dillon Wilson on 11/14/2013 woman-nagging-husband

WASHINGTON—According to a report published Tuesday afternoon by the Pew Research Center, 95 percent of guys currently want nothing more than for their girlfriends and wives to just shut up and let them watch the game. “Our findings indicate that the only thought occupying their minds is tuning out whatever the hell she’s talking about [...]

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Teen Auctions Her Virginity For $27,000

Dillon Wilson on 11/13/2013 SarahOuten_MOD

POINTS OF VIEW – A teenager in Siberia successfully auctioned off her virginity online. “Money is urgently needed, so I am selling the most treasured thing,” the 18-year-old wrote on a website. “I can come to a hotel at Predmostnaya [Square] with a certificate proving my innocence,” said the teenager who listed her name only [...]

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Convicted Animal Abuser Eaten By Own Dogs

Dillon Wilson on 11/06/2013 Midterm-elections1.jpg

POINTS OF VIEW – 67-year-old Patricia Ritz, a Kentucky woman previously convicted of animal cruelty, is believed to have been eaten by her dozens of hybrid wolf-dogs after she died. She was charged with animal cruelty a total of six times between 1986 and 2003. On one occasion in 1999, authorities found 184 dogs on [...]

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Female Chihuahua On Her Period Bites Ass Of Insensitive Mailman

Dillon Wilson on 10/24/2013 Killer_Chihuahua

NATURE—Apparently heedless of Muffin the Chihuahua’s menstrual induced mood swings, local mailman Dale Evans was violently bitten on the ass Friday. “All I did was walk onto the porch, put the mail in the box and then I noticed that Muffin looked kind of bloated,” said Dale, 37, now wearing a large cast on his [...]

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Doctors Prove Eating Boogers Is Good For You

Dillon Wilson on 10/23/2013

POINTS OF VIEW – A biochemist from the University of Saskatchewan has theorized that nasal mucus — commonly known as boogers — has a sugary taste that’s meant to entice children to have a snack. But this may actually help introduce pathogens into the child’s immune system that will strengthen their body’s natural germ defense. [...]

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US Judge Tells Man He’s Still Legally Dead

Dillon Wilson on 10/16/2013

POINTS OF VIEW – Donald Miller Jr. went to court this week to ask a county judge to reverse a 1994 ruling that declared him legally dead after he had vanished from his home eight years earlier. But the judge turned down his request, citing a three-year time limit for changing a death ruling. His [...]

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Dick Cheney Explains Obamacare

Dillon Wilson on 10/15/2013

WYOMING—During a recent interview with WyoFile News, former Vice President Dick Cheney was asked his opinion of Obamacare. “It’s the absolute worst piece of shit legislation I’ve ever seen! And remember I’ve supported hundreds of shitball bills in my time,” hissed the sinister, sharp fanged Cheney. Cheney went on to explain to the crowd, that [...]

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British Citizens Upset Over Traces Of Horse Meat Found In Food, Tourists Say They Can’t Taste The Difference

Dillon Wilson on 10/10/2013

LONDON – Battling to contain the mounting crisis from earlier this year over horse meat being put into products labeled as beef, Britain’s Food Standards Agency said that two meat packing plants near London were raided and several arrests were made yet many foreign tourists report that they can’t taste the difference anyway. “One of [...]

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